Dear [Name of Recipient]

Hey, a couple of weeks ago was talking with [Name of Buyer] at this performance picnic thing and [he/she] raved to me about you and said that you would most definitely be cool with our band crashing with you around the week of [2 weeks in the future]. Did [he/she] tell you? It shouldn't matter because we are super fun & easy to have around----- plus we have our own food and bedding and dog and baby stuff. The sicks of us (four plus dog plus baby) all get up at the same time and if we can cook in our room then we won't need to use your kitchen. While I go out scouting for gigs, the crew is really good about staying put chilling , writing, meditating, and if I can't score a gig we can perform for you and your crew, and if you have a high ceiling-- Rawb juggles. Or we can do our show outside your place if you have a yard or a wide sidewalk. The old lady we were just staying with was excited about the jobs we did for her. We organized her closets and did some pruning and sorted out her spices and other kitchenables, but we are really much better as performancers if you ask me, which you can ask me when we see you. Here's a CD of us playing so you can see what we are all about. I'm going to need it back to send to the next place we head off to delight and entertain. Educate?

We don't have a working phone right now and [name of buyer] didn't give me your phone number, just your address. We'll get into town either really late at night or way early the next morning. Oh, we travel in two station wagons, one with a horse type trailer. It says CHAMPIONS OF THE GOOD on the side, but that's not the name of our show anymore.

Zoom!

Randall Pants