Test Yourself: Do you have what it takes?
Can you preach in a loud and forceful manner about any
of the following subjects for more than 10 minutes?
Pick three and give it a try.

• James Brown has nothing on the penguins.
• Mayor Daley is not a penguin.
• Penguins do not wear Bow Ties.
• Penguins are not Nuns.
• Labor Day and the Penguins
• Penguins vs. Ostriches: Both are flightless, but which are harder workers?
• Education: Can penguins be doctors?
• Penguins in The Bible?
• Emperor penguins vs. smaller penguins
• Hawaiian shorts & sunglasses?
• Penguins do not wear Santa hats.
• Penguins do not live in Igloos.
• Snow cones?
• Penguins do not drink Bud Ice.
• Penguins do not play Hockey.



• Penguins are not Beach Bums.
• Penguins do not wear scarves.
• Penguins do not need to pull up their pants.
• Penguins are not bowling pins.
• Penguins are not pigeons
• Penguins do not work in advertising.
• Penguins are not plastic bottles filled with cinnamon and sugar.
• Penguins do not drive zambonis.
• Danny Devito
• No penguin is named Chilly or Willy.
• While penguins may slide on their bellies they do not crawl on them and they do not have scales or fangs, because penguins are not snakes.
• Penguins do not drive antique automobiles.
• Penguins are not wind up toys
• Penguins are not conductors; They do not wave batons in front of orchestras or choral groups.
• Penguins do not live in refrigerators with air holes drilled in the top and a latch on the inside.
• Penguins do not beg for birdseed or poop on statues.
• Penguins do not suck blood or weave webs to catch their prey.
• Penguins do not carry tiny suitcases in one wing while holding up a sign that says “North Pole” in the other.